This is what I gleaned form Paul Harding's video on Immersion in settings.
If your story needs deep description -
Landscapes / City / Sea / Space
Sight - 'Think about how a painter may recreate a landscape and describe it as though you were the painter'. Pay attention to shading, variety and depth of colour, and contrast.
Sound - 'How would a musician create the landscape?' - Pay attention to the nuances of sound, how the weather effects the quality and the distance sound travels. Loud obvious sounds and those small delicate noises we often miss.
Detail - Focus on small detail as well as the wider view.
Character - how is the character's emotion effecting how they perceive the landscape? How does the landscape effect the character's mood?
Observation -
Step back and pay attention to the landscapes around you.
Forget what you know about a familiar landscape. Look at it with innocent eyes.
Imagine - what if there was a storm brewing - how would the landscape change?
Revisit - you can see the same landscape ten times and notice something different each time.
Precise writing
Why do you need to describe in this detail? Be clear on the importance for the story.
Choose words carefully. Each one needs to add to the story.
Not a catalogue of details or a list.
Point Of View - will change the perception. Try placing each of your characters in the same street - they will all observe differently.
The assignment -
Spend 30 mins somewhere and observe everything.
Take a small piece of a previous assignment and create a new scene with a rich description. Think about precision and detail.
This was my attempt - I have resisted the temptation to edit!
Snow Glitter
The dark-wood chalet contrasted against the pristine snow
and tall, frosted, pine trees. It looked like an elf’s house topped with a
thick, undulating, white blanket bulging over the edge, defying gravity.
She laughed like a child, and the
magic of Christmas had sunk into her heart, when a whisper of wind brushed the roof,
and the air filled with sparkling glitter.
He leant close, loosened the warm
blue scarf from her neck and whispered, ‘This way.’ His lips left a warm kiss that
the air turned to ice. She smiled and tugged the scarf back up to cover her
ears and nose.
He took her hand and led her past
the haven of cosy warmth and into the silent, dry cold of the forest. Next to a
log pile, so neatly stacked with the sawn circular ends facing the pathway that
it looked like modern art, were two pairs of snow shoes and a backpack, their
bright blue and red colours shouting their presence. The sharp, fresh scent of
pine resin permeated her scarf as they sat on a cleared log and he helped her tighten
the straps of the cumbersome footwear. The ratchet clicking its man-made sound
into the trees, disturbing two small birds who squawked their displeasure
before returning to their search for small insects huddling beneath the rough,
scaled bark.
Their first steps were clumsy and
their laughter bounced off the snow-laden branches causing silver cascades to
lightly dust their hats.
‘Come on,’ he said and led the
way along a pathway that was not visible to her eyes. Branches created archways
that they ducked beneath, but these were spring loaded and a breath of a touch released
the tension, the branch returning to its natural position and flinging snow
crystals high in the air. Her eyes followed the sparkling powder upward and she
almost overbalanced, she had never seen trees that pierced the sky before.
She could hear flurries of snow
fall through the forest, the occasional call of a bird in the distance, the
crunch of their shoes breaking through the thin icy crust and sinking into the
softer snow below. The loudest sound was her heart and the huff of their
breath.
‘Through here,’ he gestured for
her to walk in front as he held back a doorway of branches. She touched his red
cheek with her gloved hand and smiled. He saw the smile in her eyes and
mirrored it in anticipation.
She stood motionless, withholding
the breadth that would cloud her vision, and unwilling to move in fear of
breaking even one of the diamond shaped crystals that had formed in the small
valley. Contrasting black bulrush heads outlined a frozen lake which reflected
the delicate colours of the evening sky. She had never seen beauty on this
scale before, tears froze on her eyelashes.
He wrapped his arms around her,
sharing his body heat. They absorbed the solitude, a welcome contrast to their
frenetic city life.
This is one of the three peer reviews which are guided by questions. Very useful.
Reviewer 1
I was struck by the spring-loaded branches bouncing back and scattering
snow, the trees piercing the sky, the dark wooden chalet against the snow-laden
trees. The entire fantasy element and thick, deep woods crowded with vegetation
leave an image of an encompassing environment. The thick undulating blanket
which bulged over the edge is very vivid as are the archways of branches and
the loudest sound was her hurt. That last one is very powerful because it
brings the experience so close to her centre, both emotions and body.
The feeling is of joy and wonder, and it is very strong. It feels like a
calm yet sparkling place, beautiful in a fantasy-like way and peaceful. I expect
that they are going to have a night that is in tune with the setting --
peacefully joyful.
I feel that I'm seeing a complete environment for these two people at
this moment. They couldn't take in any more. I know there could be animals,
more specific vegetation, perhaps a stream running by, but I feel this is
enough. For my own personal tastes, maybe a little too much.
You also get casual comments from other participants, such as -
This moment is absolutely beautiful! It almost seems like it belongs in
a snow globe, and makes me want winter.
I recommend the course. It clashes with NaNoWriMo so you need to find enough hours to do both.
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